just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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