wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
