just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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