do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I want to make a zoo with you.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
