i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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