i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
