The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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