I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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