I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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