We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
