Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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