:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
