Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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