you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
