i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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