if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I lost the right to judge tonight
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
