I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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