bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
