so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
