Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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