all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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