Me. At least after what I've been through.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
