So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
