Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Randomize
