I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
