I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Your cock deserves a montage
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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