just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
