My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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