yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize