I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
