I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
