she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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