Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
