i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Randomize
