yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i believe in u and ur pee
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
