Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Damn victory sex feels great
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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