I want to have your abortion
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
