this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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