you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
