I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
