know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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