So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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