you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize