Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize