THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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