The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
