Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
