God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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