Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
