So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
