Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
