btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
