i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
