i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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