honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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