How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize