absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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