i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
