i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
