What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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