i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Randomize
